How to Transform your Negative Mindset to Achieve Success

How to Transform your Negative Mindset to Achieve Success

Mar 30, 2021

Do you ever struggle with negative thinking? Who doesn’t, you may say. At a certain point in your life, you have considered yourself the worst person. You may be in what you may consider a hopeless situation. You may even feel there is no way out.


If you get caught in worry, stress, anxiety, depression or wrestle with low self-worth, then you know how ugly that it feels first hand.

Negative thinking, especially if it becomes a pattern and routine reaction to certain situations, can have a strong and sometimes devastating impact on our relationships, our health, our work, our lives.

Let’s take a look at Carrie.

Carrie was a brilliant during her student days. In fact, her family and friends considered her as the most likely to climb the corporate ladder in the field of Chemical Engineering. After she graduated from college, she worked in a food manufacturing company. She was on her way.

After six months, she decided to resign for reasons not comprehended by those around her. She lost interest in looking for another job. She lost interest in meeting her friends. She stays most of the time at home. Six years after her resignation, she remains jobless and dependent on her mother to support her.

I cannot pass this opportunity to share with you about Brenda. She is the daughter of a very close friend of mine. Brenda is vivacious, active and charming. When she was a freshman in college, she experienced bullying in social media. She asked her mother to allow her to be home-schooled. Going to the mall with friends was one of Brenda’s pastimes. In a matter of a few weeks after the bullying, she refused to go out.

What made Carrie and Brenda act this way. We may blame outside factors. I believe it all comes down to one word – MINDSET.

Mindset Defined

What is mindset? It is simply a way of thinking, a frame of mind.

Here are some additional definitions of what is a “mindset.”
· An attitude, disposition, or mood. (Dictionary.com)
· A person’s way of thinking and their opinions. (Cambridge Dictionary)
· A mental inclination, tendency, or habit. (Merriam-Webster.com – Medical Dictionary)
· A person’s usual attitude or mental state is his or her mindset. (Vocabulary.com)
· The established set of attitudes held by someone. (Oxford Dictionary)


A mindset is a set of assumptions, methods, or notations that is so established that it creates a powerful incentive within you to continue to adopt or accept prior behaviours, choices, or tools.


The stories you tell yourself and the things you believe about yourself can either prevent change from happening or allow new ideas to blossom.

The Mind is a Battleground


Your mind is your most powerful force. It helps you unleash your potential.
It’s so powerful that it affects every decision-making process. It predetermines your responses and interpretations of situations.


Your mindset can influence your reaction and response to the many opportunities and obstacles you encounter in your lifetime.


The Bible aptly stated “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 27:3 (NKJV).

Author Wallace D. Wattles put it best when he said, “Whatever you habitually think yourself to be, that you are.”


What are your beliefs?


Your current mindset is responsible for the person you are today. It is important to be aware of the mindset you have today.
Examine your mindset by looking at your current belief system.


Your beliefs shape your attitude. Your attitude also shapes your beliefs. You beliefs shape your mindset.


Are these beliefs helping you grow as a person?


Ask yourself these questions:
· Where did I learn these beliefs and knowledge from?
· Are they the objective truth?
· Who uses these beliefs in life and business?


Dive deep and investigate whether your beliefs are true and objective.
Identify limiting beliefs in your life and stop these negative patterns.


You have to identify every possible mindset that’s standing in your way and turn things around in your life.

The most effective mindsets create opportunities for you, and help to gain momentum, and take actions that lead you in the direction of your goals.


Take your time and learn what beliefs make you the most efficient and importantly bring out the best in you.

Changing your Mindset


You can succeed in changing your mindset. But it takes hard work. And it is time well spent. "Mind is a flexible mirror, adjust it to see a better world,” says Amit Ray.


Bruce Lee once said “success comes to those who become success-conscious. If you don’t aim at an object, how the heck on earth do you think you can get it?”


Napoleon Hill was right when he said, “There are no limitations to the mind except those we acknowledge. Both poverty and riches are the offspring of thought.”


That quote brings to mind what Henry Ford also said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” Your mind is as good as the limitations you place on it.

“If you imagine less, less will be what you undoubtedly deserve,” —Debbie Millman, artist, strategist, and interviewer


Mindset: Stories We Tell Ourselves


Become aware of your self-talk. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Massive new research published in 2016 in the journal Frontiers of Psychology has revealed the most effective motivational technique for improving performance.


In conjunction with BBC Lab UK, Professor Andrew Lane and his colleagues created an extensive study to find out if one motivational method is most effective for improving performance.


The study used over 44,000 volunteers to test three motivational techniques for improving performance:


  1. Self-talk (saying to yourself “I can do better”)
  2. Imagery (imagining yourself doing something better)
  3. If-then planning (for example, “If I start to doubt myself, then I will remind myself that I have the skills!”)


    In the study, all three techniques improved performance, but the most effective one was self-talk.


    According to the study’s results, thinking and saying to oneself “I can do better next time” increases the intensity of effort people put into an activity. It can also improve performance on any given task.


    “Optimism is the one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other, ” says Brian Tracy.


    Pay attention to your self-talk and consider making changes if necessary. This is the “can-do” talk that may have a positive effect if you open yourself up to it.


    Growth Mindset


    People with a growth mindset believe that they can improve with effort. They outperform those with a fixed mindset, even when they have a lower IQ, because they embrace challenges, treating them as opportunities to learn something new. — Travis Bradberry


    You can change your brain’s patterns once you start to consistently feed your mind with new empowering messages.


    And guess what, once the pattern changes, everything on the outside will change with it. Your mindset can make you or break you!


    You can never change your results with the same mindset that got you stuck. In the words of Lyndelle Palmer Clarke of the Dailygreatness:


    “Stating your intentions for how you wish to think, feel, and act is the beginning of upgrading the neurological pathways in your brain that eventually shift your behaviors to those that support your life, instead of repeating behaviors that keep you stuck.”


    Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck said that “the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value.”


    Bruce Lee’s ten-year plan!


    Let us learn from Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee was an actor, director, martial artist, and philosopher. Bruce Lee wrote the following mission statement in January of 1969. He died four years after writing this letter but he worked hard and achieved all his goals.


    My Definite Chief Aim

    I, Bruce Lee, will be the first highest-paid Oriental superstar in the United States. In return, I will give the most exciting performances and render the best of quality in the capacity of an actor. Starting 1970 I will achieve world fame and from then onward till the end of 1980, I will have in my possession $10,000,000. I will live the way I please and achieve inner harmony and happiness.

    Bruce Lee

    Jan. 1969


    Prepare your mind for greatness

    “You will not do incredible things without an incredible dream.” — John Eliot


    Changing your mindset about your ability in a certain skill may mean mastering it through disciplined practice.


    But anything that requires change may take some time to develop. It takes conscious effort to transform and have a positive mindset geared towards success.


    Get That Winning Attitude


  4. Have an attitude of gratitude.

Think of the people around you who love and support you. They may not be 100% aware of what you are going through, but they support you. Be thankful of what you have accomplished so far. Be grateful that this situation can make you stronger and better.

  1. Cultivate a sense of purpose.


    As we grow older, our sense of purpose varies. But there is that core mission that moves you to accomplish what you really want. Continue to chase it and keep your mind active.


  2. Make a specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound life-list of everything you want to achieve.


    Set small goals each day and week to achieve them.
    There is a power to breaking things down, and to work towards achieving them little by little versus getting overwhelmed by the gargantuan idea of the completed goal you want.


    Keep moving even if you make baby actionable steps.


  3. Acknowledge and embrace imperfections.


    There is power in accepting your uniqueness. Stop comparing yourself with others. Realize how blessed you are.


  4. View challenges as opportunities.


    Realize it’s possible, instead of telling yourself you can’t. Look for the learning in every challenge you encounter. The trials and challenges make us better.

Replace the word “failing” with the word “learning.”

  1. Learn from other people’s mistakes.


    I do not recommend it, and it is not wise to compare yourself to others. But other people’s experiences offer lessons so that we do not make the same mistakes.

Provide regular opportunities for reflection. Look at the positive in difficult situations. And it takes time to learn.

  1. Take ownership over your attitude.


    Once you develop a positive mindset, own it. Acknowledge yourself as someone who possesses a positive mentality and be proud to let it guide you throughout your journey.
    Use the skills you already have. Focus on your strengths, build upon them and improve with time.


    And remember what Wade Boggs said:


    “A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.

  2. Realize that negative situations shall pass.


    Don’t dwell that you will be in a seemingly hopeless situation. Soon, a bright light will shine for a new day. Take one day at a time.

See failure as a set-up for a come-back.


When you begin to master your mindset, you will be able to make new healthy choices, embrace a positive outlook in life, commit to goals and actually get them done and you will most likely finish what you start.


Practical Steps


With the four steps listed below, and a little practice, I believe anyone can break free of negativity for good. Why do I believe that? Because if I can do it (and I have) from the dark place I used to be in, then I trust these tools will work for you too—no matter where you’re at.


One very important mistake you should avoid is trying to drown out or push away unhelpful thoughts. This will only amplify the negative thoughts and makes things worse.


Step 1: Recognize and step back from negative thought patterns


Negative thought patterns are repetitive, unhelpful thoughts. They directly cause what we could describe as ‘negative’, unwanted or unpleasant emotions like anxiety, depression, stress, fear, unworthiness, shame, etc.

Once we learn to recognize and identify negative thought patterns as they occur, we can start to step back from them. We should learn to see the thoughts in our heads as simply that—just thoughts. Not reality.


You see, when we are fused with our thoughts, we tend to take our thoughts very seriously. We believe them. We buy into them and we obey them. We play them out.

The problem is not that we have negative thoughts. The problem comes when we believe our thoughts are true.


ANXIOUS THOUGHTS AND WORRY


“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened”. ~ Michel de Montaignew


Worry is when the mind projects into an imagined future and conjures up scenes and thoughts about what could go wrong. Here it often creates ‘what if’ scenarios.
Sometimes it takes the form of imagining or expecting that bad things will happen or that nothing good will ever happen for you. You might fret about your health deteriorating, your relationship going downhill, your car breaking down or your career being ruined—even though nothing has actually happened yet.

CRITICISM AND SELF-BEATING


Do you have a harsh inner critic? Are you always trying to whip yourself into shape, mentally beating yourself up for not being good enough yet? Are you on a perfect mission?

Another pattern of negative thought is to constantly criticize and ‘self-improve’ because you’re not good enough yet. You may be very harsh on yourself, focusing on all of your weaknesses and perceived flaws.

Likewise, you may extend this habit of criticism to others in your life. This can be the cause of tremendous strain on relationships. Negative self-talk and self-criticism often result in low self-esteem and a lack of confidence.


REGRET AND GUILT


Ruminating on mistakes made in the past often creates feelings of shame, guilt, and negativity. Feelings of worthlessness may arise when you play over and over in your mind, ‘bad’ choices or ‘wrong’ actions you feel you have made.

There is nothing ‘negative’ per se about simply reflecting on past experiences. This is how we can learn, grow and mature as people. Negativity arises when you dwell on a situation repeatedly with no real intention to learn and grow–but instead, you are self-beating or wishing things were different instead of being accepting of things as they are.


PROBLEMS


Negative thoughts often revolve around what’s wrong with your life. Your attention becomes fixated on and exaggerates the so-called negative aspects of your life. Here your mind will often downplay what is going well.


For example, you may have a wonderful family, food to eat, and shelter, but your car breaks down and it’s all you can think about and focus on all week long. You allow the situation with the car to dominate your thinking and negative emotions arise as a result.
All week you are frustrated, angry, and depressed because of the car when your focus could be expanded to what is going well and what you’re grateful for.

The truth is that the car has a problem. It is no longer running and needs to be taken to the mechanic. That’s a simple fact. Ruminating continuously on the situation is not constructive at all and is another way we can get trapped in negativity.

If you have this habit of lamenting over your sorrows and problems you may constantly feel frustrated, anxious, depressed, and apathetic. When you’re so absorbed in what’s wrong, you’re unable to notice what’s right.

Looking out for and recognizing these common negative thinking patterns when they arise will help you be aware of when to use the tools below to work with them skillfully and break free from their grip.


GETTING UNSTUCK: THE ‘NAME IT TO TAME IT’ TECHNIQUE


People trapped in negative thinking often tell others they feel hopeless because they often wrestle or argue with the thoughts or push them away, but the research shows that trying to struggle with thoughts in these ways just amplifies them as you may have noticed in your own life. What you resist persists.

So how do you move through life in a way that is practical, peaceful, and authentic without getting stuck in negative thought patterns?
Here is the first step. It’s a very powerful, simple, tried, and tested technique for untangling from thoughts without struggling with them. It’s called the ‘name it to tame it’ technique.


‘Name it to tame it’ is a phrase coined by author and psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Siegel. Here are the basics of how ‘name it to tame it’ works:

When an unhelpful thought pattern and the associated emotion arise you simply mentally ‘label’ the story. You’ve probably noticed many of our thoughts are repetitive and involve the same storylines. For instance one of my stories often is, “Who am I to be putting myself out there teaching mindfulness. Aren’t you supposed to be perfect first!?”

This thought is unhelpful. When thoughts come up along that storyline, simply mentally note to me, “Ahhhh here the story goes again” and then I let it go.

By ‘let it go’ I simply mean, I stop giving it all my attention and stop taking it so seriously. I realize it’s just a thought, not reality.

As soon as you name the mental story or pattern, you have now stepped back from being caught up in it. When you name the thoughts you stop being hijacked by them from the negativity they create because you bring the smartest part of your brain online.

You can do the same thing with emotions, naming them to tame them like “ahhh anxiety is here again” or “oh shame has arrived”. When naming or labeling your thoughts or emotions, make sure when you mentally label, to do it in a soothing, kind tone of voice.

This is important as it helps you to settle and invite compassion and soothing into that moment instead of aggression or struggle. We’re not going to battle with the mind here. We are gently training it into new pathways of peace and ease.

Step 2: Coming to your senses


“Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.” ~ James Thurber

Notice that many negative thoughts mostly flow from two directions. The first is dwelling on the past—maybe you ruminate over mistakes, problems, guilt, and anything in your life that did not go the way you believe it should have gone.

The second is worrying about the future—fear of what may or may not happen for yourself, others, or the planet. This may take the form of stress over whether or not you will achieve certain goals or anxiety about the security of your finances or relationships. Or perhaps you may worry about getting old.

Whatever your particular negative thoughts are, notice that in order to engage in negative thought patterns, the mind needs to cast its focus mostly on the past or future. Either that or we judge and mentally label things in the present moment to be ‘bad’.

Step 3: Practice mindfulness regularly


As we grow up, we tend to get more and more drawn into the mind – our problems, our goals, our hopes, our fears, and desires. We tend to get so busy, caught up with activities, and lose touch with this deeper sense of self. It becomes easy for us to get more drawn into negative thinking the more we lose touch with ourselves.

A Harvard University research shows that most people are ‘mind wandering’ 47% of their day and this is the root of what causes cognitive fusion or entanglement with thoughts.

Imagine the ocean. Sometimes the surface waves can be tumultuous but the depths are unaffected, calm, and peaceful. Our minds have the same nature. There is a perfect stillness in each of us. Just beneath our conditioning, thoughts, and habits which can sometimes also be tumultuous, there is a quiet place inside and it is always available to us as a calm refuge.


What is Mindfulness


Mindfulness is the practice of waking up to that wellspring of wholeness and peace. It’s waking up out of mind wandering (where we are lost in our heads, our old beliefs, habits, reactions, and thinking patterns) so that we are able to live deliberately.

Through mindfulness, we build our capacity to live from that deeper awareness and tame the mind.

Regular mindfulness meditation has been shown to decrease stress, depression, and anxiety as well as improving immune function. People who practice meditation report overall levels of satisfaction with life higher than others.

In fact, researcher and psychologist Matt Killingsworth found that what makes people most happy is being fully present at the moment. The more our minds wander the more unhappy we become.

There is so much power in simply practicing mindfulness. By practicing daily mindfulness meditation and prayer, you will gradually cultivate more awareness and be less caught up in your mind.

Step 4: Helpful questions for unhelpful thoughts

Some kinds of negative thinking patterns can recur regularly. You may find that negative thoughts continue to have a grip on you.

If you find yourself in this position there are some tools you can use to untangle your thoughts and change your focus. These are called helpful questions for unhelpful thoughts.
You can use some of the questions below to mentally question negative thoughts and change your focus.

· Is this thought in any way useful or helpful?
· Is it true? Is it real?
· Is this just an old story that my mind is playing out of habit?
· Does this thought help me take positive and productive action?


These questions will help you to focus on constructive thoughts and actions. Knowing the answers to these questions helps you to effectively face your day-to-day challenges and move towards living a more meaningful life.

Resolve to make the best out of the situation. Think for a moment who would you be without this negative thought? Have you thought of the great possibilities you can achieve when you have a different point of view? What are the things you should be grateful for at this very moment?
With these powerful questions you can change your focus from being stuck in negativity to being focused on what’s going well. They will also help you take constructive action and move towards living a more meaningful life.
Constructive thinking allows you to be happy when things are going good, and puts problems in perspective when times get tough.

So stay calm, be clear-headed and deal with them in a practical, efficient way.
Your mindset alone cannot win the battle for you. You must be willing to put in big and mighty effort to make it a success and commit to doing it consistently. Only with MASSIVE action can you achieve MASSIVE results.
A giant step starts with a single step – one day at a time.

“Today, you have the opportunity to transcend from a disempowered mindset of existence to an empowered reality of purpose-driven living. Today is a new day that has been handed to you for shaping. You have the tools, now get out there and create a masterpiece.” — Steve Maraboli